Park started very well, everyone clearly up for such a crucial game. We couldnt get too much going, but were easing ourselves into it, when Dawson was binned for a bit of a blatant trip....

Russy then moved to 10 and Biffa back to full back. Park then struggled for the next period, with Beccs exerting pressure on our 22, and eventually scoring a try with a blind move from the scrum

I forgot, Park had already scored a try of their own at this point, with quick phases and ball, which we actually did very well for the first time this year, before eventually getting it wide for Russ to go over in the corner

I think the half then played out with a few breaks from Beccs pacey wings, match back with our own. Neither side managing to take their chances though

The pack pressured the scrum all day and began to dominate the line out in the second half.

Dawson now back on, got a try to redeem himself. Cant actually remember how!!!

Beccs got a penalty back and the game was very tight, with Park using the wind and kicks, but Beccs running it back well.

Park got a penalty of their own through Dawson

Park got the try that mattered about 10 mins from the end, after quick hands from Dawson and Boam put Russy through, who drew 2 and chipped through for Chidi to gather (on as a sub for Oli) and sprint in beating the full back

Final score was 18-8

All in all, a good performance, it a little sloppy at times (i had a stinker). Pack superb as ever and the backs doing plenty of rucking and work, creating quick ball. We are improving every week and the signs are good

Beccs have clearly got some players back, and it was a good and needed result against a solid side

No game this week, Charlton Park at home on the 29th which will be a massive test

A Match Report By Jim Dawson Age 22

On a day when Harry turned into Catch and Tim into bad Tim, Parkhouse set out to secure a win over a bottom placed side who wuld be no walkover given the vicious rivalry between the two clubs (or so the older members say).

Beccs kicked off and showed early dominance with some good pick and drives and running by the 10. Parkhouse got themselves in some good positions courtesy ff the boot by using the swirling wind to their advantage. from one of these good positions beccs failed to win their own line out with the ball coming loose and tim popping up to jim who fed tom who passed to russ to score in the corner (all kicks to be noted as missed except when told different)

from the resulting kick off bunnage made a fool off himself by correctly seeing that the ball was about to go straight out but letting it hit him anyway! Biff broke through the line next and unselfishly passed to tim who dropped it.

then from a poor kick by myself the oppo 11 caught the ball and sliced through the only disjointed bit of defence of the game, he looked certain to score but then i got cramp low and behld i had tripped him up, saving the certain try but getting a yellow, mum didnt look happy, nor did rich.

then beccs were in the ascendancy but good defence from PH denied them for the 10 min period when PH were down to 10, but then the ref added a bit on and they scored in the corner. 5-5. a penalty was converted shortly after, we were guilty of too many pens on the day.

Jim squandered a chance when russel kicked ahead with the try line begging for ashly, sorry mate!

Second half.

With the wind at our backs we knew hw to play this half, gain field pos and attack from there which is exactly what we did with rich delivery some beauties.

PH had to wait a while for the score that was on the cards and after some brilliant play in the tight from the forwards I was able to go in in the corner.

Miricalousy i scored a pen 13-8.

The game was opening up a bit, mainly due to poor kicking from them and the intro of chidi who loves to run.

Tim got beaten up by their no.7 ex boxer, but nice to see his rage later...in the box tim!

Then chidi scored after a move started from deep found rich who cleverley kicked ahead and chidi galloped away to score in the corner. 18-8.

Good solid performance from a changed team which is always nice to see, tom had a very solid game in the middle and great D allround, well done chaps.

Good night after as well!

The ones start to find their structure with a strong win against Whitstable

Report delivered by Russy:

Despite the early weather, this didnt turn out to be a mudbath like last week! Park still have some injury ones but were able to field a strong side against old rivals Whitstable in an important game

Park dominated from the off really although struggled to convert pressure and possession into clear cut chances and much of the game was played in the middle of the Park. Whitstable kicked a great deal of ball away and didnt use the slope and wind very well.

Park's first try came from a rolling maul, which worked very well with Whitstable seemingly unable to pull it down. FP rolled to the left before Waddell peeled off with the ball and over the line from a couple of yards out.

Waddell also got the next try with pressure on the Whistable scrum in their own 22, charging down the kick before finally realising where the ball was and falling on it over the line.

Park went into half time 12-3 up after Whistable turned some pressure into penalty points. Park's defence was superb throughout and pressure Whitstable did have was often broken up.

By half time, the Whistable pack and backs were fighting with each other, and Park now with the wind and slope, felt the next score would be crucial.

Neither side were able to secure points for a while, although Park looked the more threatening and Whitstable began losing their rag with each other, us and the ref and generally couldnt get anything going. Their captain seemed to be the instigator in most of this which just then spread through the team.

A particular funny moment being their 6 screaming ***** as he tackled Oli Carr who had passed inside for Park to break 50 yards. About summed it up

The 6 then 5 minutes later got creamed by Turdo and Tim.

To be fair, he was there best player and worked his socks off, although his frustrations would be better off going into the game than moaning at everyone including his own players

Park did finally get the clinching score when Dawson jinked through the Whitstable defence and in under the posts.

Whitstable were now trying to run everything, with their 10 not wanting to kick anymore probably worried about his skipper clumping him one!

Park also got a late try out wide as Turdo fed Russy to go in the corner. At this point there was still a few minutes left, but the Whitstable skipper demanded that the ref call the game. Never heard that before!

Final score 24-3 and plenty of positives and we defended very well. Still need to create and finish more chances. Pack played superbly and Jayme and Biffa seem to be forming a strong partnership.

Whitstable clearly had some players missing, but then so did we. Positive way to go into the local derby v Beccs away next week

Support very welcome.....

In apalling weather where Poor Penge nearly died again, the ones are pipped to the post by Heathfield and Waldron

Russy reports: After a couple of mid week pull outs, and then Pat having to drop to the 2s in the morning as his friends overslept meaning he was late back from uni, we travelled down in the miserable weather still in reasonable spirits.

Jim Dawson managed to get lost, meaning he wasnt there for kick off, so i stepped in to play 10 very badly!!! and Russ also got lost on the way somehow meaning the warm up was somewhat limited although, it probably wouldnt have made much difference as it was just miserable.

Park won the toss and took the option to go againt the wind in the first half, which, on reflection, was the wrong decision. Heathfield took advantage of the wind with two early tries and loads of pressure. One try coming from a 5 yard scrum after i dropped the ball over the line! Heathfield could have had more points in the first half, but Park defended for their lives and kept managing scrambling tackles and pressure forcing the errors.

Heathfield played the conditions much better and pick and drived and controlled the ball very well. Think we had about 10 per cent of the possession in the first half. They also were able to make crash yards in the centres

Park thought 14-0 wasnt bad in the conditions at half time and felt confident. However, the wind made little difference in the second half with Heathfield managing to keep possession very well. Park defended hard and the committment was there for all to see but it was so hard to stop players without them making some yards.They got another try before Park got a penalty back through Dawson who came on for an injured Goughy at half time.

Park worked very hard but couldnt get it going on the day, until Jim Dawson broke through and got tackled on the line flicking up to Russy for a consolation try in the last second, which was converted for the last kick

All in all, a forgettable day, although the pack worked their socks off and the backs defended hard when they could. The wide players did well to keep warm and get involved where they could.

Not to make excuses, as it wasnt a day for that, but we cannot keep going into games totally changing our back line every week and thinking we can get away with it.

Those who werent available this week, at least 7 who played the week before, owe the guys who played at least a couple of drinks

Credit to Heathfield, better side on a crap day and played the conditions very well and are a very well drilled side. It was also a day where it could have been a nasty game, but it never even got close to that which is a credit to both sides.

Both sides werent overly happy with a ref who seems isnt the most consistent (both sides felt this chatting after the game and have had him twice now this year) but to be fair, it was not an easy day for players or ref at all

Final score 19-10 to Heathfield

Park will be looking to bounce back at home to Whitstable this week

Some support would be very welcome

As Russy's report obviously didn't cover the game well enough, Russell Bamford contributed his own, totally wrong interpretation of the game:

OK I've just got the feeling back in my fingers so hear goes....
Park
1 FP
2 Bunnage
3 Glen
4 Ash
5 P Russ
6 Penge
7 Boam
8 Tim
9 Nick W
10 R Russ aka Teflon
11 S Cheyne
12 Goughy
13 Tom Boam
14 Ad Saunders
15 Russell
Subs Daws and Joe G

On a lovely autumn saturday afternoon.... wait it was drizzling a touch! Park travelled to Heathfield looking for back to back victories.

Park had to make a few line-up changes 2 minutes before kick off, Rich going to 10, Russell going to 15 and Ad on to the wing.

On what was never going to be a free flowing game of rugby due to the weather, Park played into the slight breeze and drizzle first half.

For reasons I can't quite put my finger on, Park did'nt get to grips with the ball and the conditions as quickly as the hosts. Heathfield asserted pressure from the off and only good defending kept the hosts at bay.

However off the back of a Park scrum on our own 5 yard line Nick fed Rich and a misfortunate drop let in a Heathfield player for the score (converted). Heathfield kept the pressure on and managed to keep us pinned in our own half for the majority of the first half. Park's only relief coming from Rich's big boot and the odd breakaway run which were just to few and far between. Heathfield doubled their lead 5 minutes after their first score with good controlled rumbling up the pitch with quick quick ball and good backline running before going over near the posts. Other than a good hit from Goughy and a last man tackle from Russell, not much to shout about in the half really.

At halftime the talk was keep the tackles a little lower and keep the oppo pinned in the bottom left corner as much as possible. Daws on for Goughy and Joe G on for Paul Russ.

The 2nd half did'nt really go to Park' plan and with the weather getting worse minute by minute they again failed to get to grips with the conditions as well as Heathfield did. The boys up front trying to push us up the pitch were let down by individual errors everytime we got into good territory. Although Park scored with a Dawson penalty Heathfield added another well worked score (unconverted).

Park never gave up and scored a deserved try when Daws broke from midfield broke a couple of tackles and popped to Rich who managed to get it down at the 2nd attempt. Daws slotted the conversion. However it was too little to late as the final whistle put all involved out of their misery just as frost bite was setting in.

Result: Heathfield 19-10 Park House

Plus points- good defence, non-stop effort, Tim stepping into Turdo's shoes and leading by example, debuts for Joe and Tom.

Points to work on- adapt to weather/pitch/refs quicker! Play a bit of up-the jumper when its called for.

Quick word on the ref! Second game we have had him this year and 2nd poor game! He still confuses eveyone because what he gives for one team he does'nt give to the other! Thats not an excuse, thats fact!

Heathfield were fully deserving of their win and I'm sure it will be a close game at ours!

Ones notch up second win by beating Hastings and Bexhill with a well oiled performance

I suppose i better do one then… – Russy

Despite a couple of last minute changes to the line up, including Goughy not quite passing Dave's fitness test, Park had a top warm up as they knew the importance of a win against a team near the bottom of the league.

Park started very well and always looked in control of the match. Despite this, the first try came from some scrappy play by Hastings centres, allowing Russ Bamford to hack through well and dive on the ball in the try area.

Park's forwards were again superb as they have been the last few weeks, but this time the backs were getting things going, with Biffa and Jayme making inroads in the centres and the wingers and full backs looking dangerous out wide.

The next try came from a well worked line out and then a backs move freeing Russy through the defence and over the line.

I cant remember when Hastings got their own scores to be honest, but they did get a penalty and a try in the first half.

The next try again came from forward pressure on the opposing scrum and my view was blinded, but think Nick Waddell disrupted his opposing number and came up with the ball over the line.

A further try then came from Russy breaking round the outside centre before feeding Oli Carr who outpaced the cover defence for a score in the corner.

At half time, although in control of the game, Park knew they couldnt let Hastings back into it and should have scored more than they did in the 2nd half. Further score did come from Biffa who broke free in the centres after a few phases of play between both the forwards and backs.

Russy had a perfectly good try disallowed for a knock following another well executed backs move and Russ Bamford would have got another if he hadnt tried to step inside and make Jims kick easier and have the ball stripped by their 10. Although it made the missed score chart even for the 10 as he had broken through with an interception and looked certain to score before Jim Dawson made a superb tap tackle resulting in him dropping the ball as he slid to the line.

Forwards were dominant throughout and turned over a great deal of ball. The backs gelled for the first time, and to be honest, was the first time the team as a whole gelled this well, although against an admittedly poor Hastings back line. To be fair to Hastings, it was not an easy game by any stretch and they clearly had some players out of position.

Plenty of positives to take from the game, third game in a row where we havent looked like conceding many but the first game where we have taken our chances, albeit we still left one or two scores on the pitch.

Some important games coming up, but Park know they can compete at this level and can gain some new confidence from the recent run of games. PH 29 - H&B 8.

With new found confidence, the twos come close to victory over Dartfordians II's

A refreshing change of pace this week playing with the twos. After the back of two wins a much changed side with a few players playing with injury and illness. Report comes from Paul Russ.

Team sheet:

Kev
James (Pats Mate)
Bob M
Paul R
Joe G
Andy Miller
Jon Cheyne
Marc Harrison (no seriously)
Ad S
Pat
Sean
Pats Mate (sorry forgot name)
Steve 'i don't want to play' Gough
Chris Golder
King Kev Solan

Sub: Paul Softly

First half: good play all round winning good ball in the scrums and lineouts with Joe Gleeson especially working well jumping at 2. A good drive through the forwards took it to within inches of the of the dartfordians line. For it to be popped to to Sean who then shipped to Steve Gough who drove for the line and scored 5 metres from touch. Pat duly converted. I then believe Sean finished a good backs move in the corner. Pat again duly converted.

We then let them in to score a good try on their part/ Then Kev Solsn picked up and dropped a stunning 40 yards kick to give PH a 17 - 7 lead. Then just before half time the prop managed to evade our team and (somewhat) burst through and scored bringing it to 12 -17.

Second half: scrums went to pot, lineouts still good, their dangerous back line scored a few, Sean scored two more completing the hat trick. Pat converted both. They scored last minute and it ended up 37 - 33.

Very unlucky but not an unfair result i believe as individuals we payed extremely well with some notable performance especially from Moley at 8 (back to the Moley of old but slower and fatter) good hits and runs, v impressed with Kev at prop who seems to be developing nicely and King Kev at full back. Some great play from Sean with the hat trick and Pat with 100% kicking average.

With so many changes from last week though a disjointed performance was to be expected and i feel one extra tackle or a little luck and the games should have been ours, I feel that a few more games with a core team together and the twos have some real potential for the season. No MOM as it would do an injustice to a number of people who deserved it. Ref was not brilliant but all credit he gave up his Saturday afternoon to do it for free.

Scorpians storm to victory over Orpington II's – By Euan Mckeeve

Park House lined up with an unusually youthful looking team sheet (from number 6 backwards anyway) in the absence of Frosty, Bunnage Snr and Toddy

Kevin Mullins
Keith New
Jinksy
Steve
Euan
Swindles
Matt Bunnage
Ayo
Gary
Paul
Jack
Alex MB
Mick ?
Dave
Pat Bunnage

Subs

Paul Greenfield
Pav
Greasey Rocker

Park House received the kick and played away from the club in the first half. After a bit of a frenetic start, Orpington were handed a penalty for an infringement on the floor by PH and duly converted from 30 metres. 0 –3.

Park then dominated the loose play and shortly after were awarded a penalty on halfway, opted to kick to the touchline and scored the first try off some good lineout, finished off by the backs, apologies, can’t remember who touched down.

Key moment of the first half, Mick - playing in the centres chased back, with electric pace, some 60 yards across the pitch as the Orpington right winger intercepted a PH attack on the O’s 22 and with only about 5 yards from the PH line put in a crunching, try saving tackle. Mick followed this up a few minutes later with a try of his own and AMB finished the scoring in the first half with PH 21-3 up at the break.

Second Half Paul Greenfield on for Steve in the 2nd row, Greasy on at 15 for Jack and Pat Bunnage to winger. For some reason, the opposition took exception to Mr Greenfield and singled him out for some unwarranted attention, resulting in the referee bringing together the captains to nip any trouble in the bud.

Park continued to play entertaining rugby with AMB adding 2 more, Ayo a brace from number 8 on his debut and I believe Pat also running in to score. Gary had a good day with the boot, converting the majority.

Orpington never gave in an after a series of drives had been defended robustly on the PH line, Orpington crossed for the final score of the game. Converted.

Final score PH 52 Orpington 10.

Highlight of the day must be the three debutants who scored 3 tries between them and added another dimension to our attacking play. A really good win which sets us up for our next encounter v’s RBOS 1’s on Saturday coming.

Two's continue to play with confidence with a secure win over Old Colfeians III's

The Two's won 22 - 0 with some good phases of play. This is the closest thing to a match report by Harry:

My take on the match was that the 2's have real potential to make a good team. We totally dominated the match in all phases of play from the word go. Colfes never really looked like scoring apart from a short phase which was well defended by Park in the second half. The recycling was particularly impressive as was most of the tackling.

The front five were solid winning ball at ease with Kev showing great potential at prop up against Matt Bundock a former Park House First team prop. When he had a bit of trouble it was great to see Barrel swap sides and continue the scrummaging lesson.

It is good to see a lot of the old farts have been successfully replaced with younger models who attend training on a regular basis.

Harry Smiley Smiley Smiley

And here is the Old C's report: http://www.ocrfc.co.uk/report.php?report=91

The Sting of the Scorps is felt again in a narrow win over Old Brockeians III's

By tongue of Millar

PH travelled to Brocks with a few key players missing and with some new ones coming into the fold. The game was always going to be close and when the Brocks players came out it became apparent that this was definitely going to be the case. They fielded a heavy pack which continued to the outside centre position.

Team:

Bunnage
New
Jinks
Jaczyk
New guy (Dave?)
Swindles
Andy M
Mullins
Gary
Frostie
Pat Bunnage (now with very sore ribs!)
AMB
Toddy
Dave
Greasy
Jack
Roddy
Paul Greenfield

PH started playing up the hill, but with a strong lineout and some very long kicks from Gary, we managed to secure good possession. Shoving Brocks off the ball wasn't really an option, so PH relied on broken play and the backs to make ground. When the ball went wide, Pat Bunnage continued to threaten using his pace. The difference this week was that Brocks actually put some hits in and young Patrick took some big tackles - especially from the full back who lined him up a couple of times. Brocks kindly provided a ref, which enabled us to have a game and after he swapped out of his black top, he didn't get tackled as often. PH secured good possession and albeit slowly, the ball was recycled well. Brocks eventually infringed between their 10m and 22m line, giving Gary fairly stright, but rangey kick to score. 0-3.

Brocks had some pace in on the wings, but their big No 10 was very difficult to bring down and so carried a lot of ball. This slowed the pace enough to enable an eventual turnover and so the game was played in the middle of the pitch for the best part. The best phase of play came from some good forwards work, then Frostie distributing the ball to one wing, back a gain, a rumble from Mullins before a nifty little move put AMB under the posts. Converted. 0-10.

Half time came and PH felt that we had dominated and going down the hill with a strong lineout, should be able to close the game off. This wasn't the case. Brocks came out agressively and disrupted previously safe areas of the game. They got the ball wide and gave the wingers a chance to run. This gave them more territory and coupled with continual infringements and lack of discipline from the PH forwards, Brocks were given a penalty under the posts. 3-10. the last 20 minutes were very even, with both side being denied opportunities. However, Brocks advanced to the PH line and on one side, the forwards tackled and prevented the opposition from crossing the line, then the ball went wide and required a very good tackle from AMB to save a try. With the game hanging in the balance, PH tried to attack from deep and manged some very good runs from Patrick and Jack, only to give it back to Brocks with a silly penalty in their 22. However, PH wanted the win and so held on to the last, denyiong Brocks on each occasion to end the game 3-10.

As stated, the team looked different with a new centre pairing, new locks and a couple of players who are new to the game. However, what let us down was discipline and bickering amongst ourselves. If this had been sorted we could have put more points on the board. It felt like a close, tough game and it was. Plenty to work on for next week as we host Orpington 2nds.

Scorpians resume winning ways against Dartfordians IV's

Report courtesy of Andy Millar

Fresh from a humbling defeat by Beckenham, PH needed to get back to winnning ways against Darts on hime soil. With selection headaches for Swindles, things looked positive as PH put out a strong pack and a fast back line:

Bunnage (Snr)
New
Mullins
Jacyck
Euan
Eoin
Swindles
James Coleman
Andy M
Frostie
Bunnage (3 of 3)
AMB
Stu Norris
J Cheyne
Greasy Rocker

Subs: Jinks, Bunnage (2 of 3), Sheehan.

The game was played fairly and in the best traditions by both sides. Unlike last week, the pack secured possession in the lineouts and cleared out very well in open play. The scrum creaked a little, but that was more to do with the big Darts pack than anything else. However, with a good and solid platform set by the forwards, who picked and went at the right times and set it at other, the backs were free to try out their moves. Without giving tactics and moves away, Forder ball was very successful and the centres always looked dangerous. I beleive there was one forwards try which was well worked after several driving mauls before Coleman took a crash off Andy to push two defenders out the way and ground the ball.

The backs scored the remainder with the following individuals scoring:

Pat - 3
AMB - 2
Frostie - 1
Cheyne - 1

Although all the tries were worthy efforts, the most worthy was Cheyne's try in the last play of the game. In a bit of a chaotic decision, Andy passed the wrong way to Frostie (some sort of homeing beacon I think) who was standing on the openside on his own. He looked around, popped to Cheyne who came crashing through in all his glory until he got cramp (well he claims his femur fractured and was poking out from his thigh) and having passed the Darts tacklers litterally hopped to the line to put the ball down and fall over in a heap. Frostie converted 6 from 8.

Darts did have some good phases of play, when their forwards kept it tight, they runmbled up the pitch to threaten the PH line. I've left this report too late to remember the Darts tries for which I apologise to any Darts players reading this. However, one does stick in mind as AMB repeated another player's mistake, throwing the hanging pass back inside for a Darts player to grab and score under the posts. Nevermind, it's easy to forget when you win...

Final score PH 52 - Darts 17 (I think).

For PH some work still required to tighten up the loose play as Beckenham have already shown us how costly that can be.

Darts didn't have any subs and to their credit, played well. No doubt it will be a toughter game when we head over to Bexleyheath.

Park House 1st's narrowly lose to Folkestone in a very impressive performance

Report by Russell Bamford (who refers to himself in the 3rd person for this report)

I write this nearly 24 hours later and am still well p*ssed off so excuse any negativity!

Line up:

FP
Nick
Glen
Penge
Ash
Tim
James B
Turdo

Nick W
Dawson
Russell
Jamie
Rich Russ
Cefyn
Joe

Subs:

Bob
Paul Russ
Ad Saunders

Park kicked down the slight slope first half and as they have done all season (except Horsham) took it to the Folkestone pack from the off. As with the other matches the pressure was enough to force Folkestone into giving away an early penalty within Daws's kicking range. On this occasion the upright came to Folkestones' aid.

Not to be downbeat Park began to build momentum and they set up camp in the Folkestone 22, with Dawson going over for a deserved score slightly left of the posts! This time Dawson came to Folkestone's aid when his conversion nearly went out for a line-out.

After more sustained pressure from Park' pack, Folkestone found themselves with a scrum about 10m from their own line. Eager as ever the flankers charged down the Folkestone kick only to be penalised for offside. I must point out at this point that not many people either playing or watching knew exactly what was happening at this point. The Park pack approached the ref and Folkestone pack, and the Folkestone winger(?) tapped quickly and proceeded to sprint the length of the pitch before kicking inside for the supporting player to touch down. Park reformed and continued to apply the pressure down the Folkstone end with Russell squandering a couple of chances by kicking through rather than keeping the ball in hand. As the half drew to an end Folkestone had a player binned for kicking Dawson in the nuts. Folkestone once again had Dawson to thank as he opted for the half time break rather than an attempt for 3 points and duly kicked the ball into touch.

The half time talk was "more of the same please but this time convert possesion and territory into points".

With those words ringing in their ears and with a man advantage Park promptly slipped into their dark ways. For what we will call "a brief moment of madness" I believe it might of been Penge comming in from the side. The Folkestone lad slotted the resulting penalty. 8-5.

For some reason Park were not as quick and tuned in as they were first half and Folkestone began to get a foothold back in the game. They were astute working 3 and 4 phases at a time to push Park down the field. But as we have come to know the Park defence was'nt about to let them walk through. Big tackles from the pack, especially Turdo, and Jamie kept Folkestone at bay.

Although on the back foot Park were still stealing well in all areas, the line in particular, and setting up quick counter attack. On two of these occasions Rich drew his man both times before offloading to Russell and Joe who between them f**ked it up with their over eagerness and forward passing.

With another 2 kickable penalties being squandered Park were awarded a penalty about 30m out withabout 10 minutes to go. This time to his relief (and eveyone elses supprise) Dawson slotted home. 8-8.

Feeling that now was their "time" Park set about going for the win. This looked on the cards as oncs again Dawson found Rich who slipped one, drew one and then unfortunately gave it to Russell who with a 2 on 1 fed Joe the most w*nk pass ever. Bring back our wingers! Quickly!!

With time running out and both teams going for the win, Folkestone rucked and mauled themslves to about 30m from the Park line. I can't remember who gave it away (but for arguments sake lets say it was Penge) or what it was for but Park conceeded a penalty. Folkestone slotted it home, 11-8.

With 90 seconds to respond Park pushed up field but to no avail as Folkestone secured the ball for the time that remained before kicking into touch to be greeted by the sound of the final whistle.

I think in all honesty Park were poor when it mattered most, ie keeping ball in hand with 15m to go or the killer instinct when 10m or less from the try line. We can still build and stretch the opposition whilst on their 5yard line. How we did'nt come in at the half 20 points up is beyond me.

Jim, in fairness, had an off day with the boot from the floor. When was the last time you saw him miss 5 kicks as easy as he missed saturday?

As we have proved all season when we get the ball wide and early we rip through teams AND score. Forwards feel free to join the scoring party with the backs.

We now play well for 70 of the 80 minutes. Perhaps we need to switch straight round at half time and not give ourselves time to think about how to play the first 10 of the second half.

In general it gets better week by week especially as we never have the same team each week. That said its no good being 8/9 weeks into the season with just 2 points on the board. Its time to stand up and be counted, EVERYONE!

Enjoy the weekend off, rest any knocks, make both trainings if you can (I won't due to work)!

!!PHOTOS OF THIS MATCH WHERE TAKEN SO PLEASE WATCH THIS SPACE!!

PH Three's come off worst against Beckenham V's

Report by Euan McKeeve (the Scottish one as opposed the silly Irish one!)

Beckenham 5ths 40. Park House 5

Expectations were running fairly high for this game with both promoted teams from last season keen to get the upper hand early in the season. Park lined up as follows

Bunnage senior
Keith New
Kevin (Moley)
Paul
Euan McK
Swindles
Matt Bunnage
Nick Roslyn
Gary
Frosty
Pat Bunnage
Andy Miller
Paul
Harry
Toddy

In windy conditions, the game was even for about 20 minutes in what turned out to be a very physical encounter. For once, PH were much the smaller pack and lost a lot of ball at the breakdown, finding it hard to get any sort of continuity in the forwards. After 20 minutes, a penalty was conceded on the 22 for an offside infringement and Beckenham slotted for 3 –0

In the following 15 minutes, Beckenham ran in 3 tries for no reply bringing the half-time score to 20 -0. Even at half-time, there was still a consensus of opinion that we could fight our way back.

10 minutes later that consensus was consigned to history as Beckenham ran in a further 4 tries. PH rallied and, after a period of sustained pressure , Kevin Mullins crashed over in the far corner for a deserved score. Toddy then appeared to have grounded 2 minutes later but was adjudged to have been held up by the ref, who to be fair, had a good game. Park didn’t give the ball up for the last 15 minutes and Beckenham hardly touched the ball in that time but it was too little, too late.

Parks back division tackled ferociously but were let down by the pack, principally by failing to deliver any decent ball through the line-out and from a creaky scrum. What looked like a really good offensive line-up ended up scrapping in defence as the forwards failed to compete for large sections of the game and we must all put our hands up to this.

That said, Beckenham were good opposition, driving mauls proving hard to bring down and good defence.

An overall assessment would be that the thirds are always going to be in the shake-up in this league if the pack can put in a performance from the start when it matters and not when the opposition has started blowing 15 minutes from the end.

Finally, a compliment to our subs, Eoin and probably more encouragingly, (Steven?) who came on in his first game and didn’t look out of his depth at all.

Darts 4’s on Saturday so lets rally and send them back to Dartford knowing they’ve been in a game they were never going to win

Park House 1st XV finally rise to the challenge to beat Crowborough

Report Courtest of Mr Skinner.

Another week another game. Crowborough were fresh from a resounding victory the week before at Beccs. They in fact had only lost one game all year, that being a close defeat to Bromley who seemed to find us no problem.

The crowd were perhaps not optimistic.

The team was something like this:

FP
Ancient slow Bunnage
NE
Ash
Penge
Tim A
Turdo
Boamy

Sausage
Jimbo
Russ B
Biffa
Stupid Goughy
Oli “Brains” Carr
Our Leader

Park House started well as they had done the week before. The question was, would it last?

Again we scored first through the three quarters with a well taken move down the right resulting in Russell Bamford scoring.

A tip though for Russell from your esteemed reporter. When you get the ball in a try scoring position you run towards the try line as fast as you can. You don’t actually have desperately to try and pass the ball back inside to the skipper.

Oh and keep an eye out for the white line that runs from the corner flags via the posts. It’s called the try line, and when you get over it you put the ball down rather than giving the ageing crowd coronaries.

Jim Dawson then nonchalantly slotted the conversion from the right touchline in the midst of a swirling breeze.

The opposition were missing a few key players including their 10 and it did show as their decision taking and execution was probably not what they had hoped. (Incidentally, what a pleasant and knowledgeable bunch their supporters were. It wasn't like this in Kent 1)

At some point in the first half Tony Bunnage finally showed us what a good player he is.

He left the field.

After we turned over some scrappy ball Sausage was perhaps a little surprised and popped a ball out to youngish Bunnage who simultaneously received a large member of the opposition in his face. It might be said the Crowborough player was either offside by some distance or would give Usain Bolt a good run for his money.

Bunnage had to leave the field and we missed him greatly. The scrum suddenly lost the ability to win its own ball and his annoying ability to pop up unexpectedly around the pitch was also notable by its absence.

Unlike last week we did not go into panic mode although we did decide it would be useful if we let the ref know what we thought about his decisions.

Surprisingly the ref did not seem to appreciate our helpful coaching tips, some of which were generously shouted at him from some distance. Indeed the backs decided to stop admiring their hair and waving at the ladies on the touchline to join in this sport. Accordingly after we had been marched back down the pitch the opposition slotted a penalty to bring the score back to 7-3.

Having lost the ability, it seemed, to hook for our own ball we seemed to have much more luck on theirs with front row working hard. The line out worked reasonably well with James Boam securing most of his ball.

The back row were outstanding, Turdo was back to his best turning over a lot of ball and winning us several penalties when the oppo decided to hang on for dear life. Tim realised that in the absence of the cuddly Boast and the balding Bailey we needed someone to take the ball on and he did just that. James Boam was simply everywhere.

Behind the pack Sausage had a good game with improved decision making and distribution.

Jim Dawson was outstanding with good hands and excellent tactical kicking including one monster kick when under pressure with his wrong foot. (Personally I think there is something morally repugnant about people who can kick with both feet but there we are.)

Goughy and Biffa were solid in the centres doing what they love best.

Olly did not get much ball which was a shame as by the end the opposition were clearly running out of backs and he could have done a lot of damage.

Russell B showed what strides he has taken since converting from poofball and his positive attitude and focus on the pitch is an example to us all.

The skipper was excellent again and I want his babies.

We finished with a bit of a flourish.

Having been awarded a penalty in kicking distance young Jim Dawson looked up to the touchline where he could see your esteemed reporter and respected rugby sage screaming at him to slow down and take the three points.

Like all young men he ignored his elders and betters, took a quick tap and waltzed his way through the opposition untouched to score an excellent try. He then converted his own try from some distance in what was now a howling gale.

14-3. A much needed and well deserved win.

Scorps continue in destruction mode against Bromley

3rd XV Match Report Vs Bromley 4th XV.

Park House were at home to Bromley for the final warm up game before the merit table begins. With the following team:

Bunnage (the Elder)
Keith
Beckenham Prop (forgot name, maybe Paul?)
Euan
J Prbzybylek/Ben Russ
Jim
Alec
James Coleman
Andy M
Frostie
Pat Bunnage (the young, fast, better than his brothers one)
AMB
Swindles
Teo
Toddy (MOM)

PH received the kick off and started fiercly, running hard lines and crashing through where possible. Bromley had some very strong backs and Swindles and AMB took a lot of hits, but always managed to get the ball back. PH worked up towards the Bromley 22, then gave a scrum away. The Bromley scrum was put under pressure which resulted in Andy M charging down the clearance kick from the Bromley 10. Bromley hoofed the ball off their own line to give PH a 5m scrum. This was won, Coleman picked up, did the hardwork, then with a cheekey under arm offload put Andy M over for the first points. Converted.

Next PH suffered a lack of communication in the kick off, which gave Bromley the ball. With their fast, powerful backs, it was important to stop the ball getting out too far. This was well done by the flankers and after some hard play in the middle of the pitch, PH had another scrum. Andy box-kicked (well sort of) and Patrick sped onto the Bromley full back, tackling him just has he caught the ball, causing him to spill it. With Alec in support, using his football skills, he dribbled the ball to the line, picked it up and dotted it down. Converted. Bromley always look threatening in the backs and after some good play, their 13 stepped through a gap and went in under the posts. Converted. PH got one back (right under the posts, I think it was AMB's 1st), unconverted. Then after some volleyball in the middle of the pitch, the ball fell for Bromley's hooker who ran in unopposed and converted his own kick. During the 1st half Toddy made two amazing, try-saving tackles in one-on-one situations against younger, faster, better looking, generally nicer guys from Bromley. The half ended 19-14.

The second half saw PH step it up a gear and although I can't remember the order, AMB got another 3 (which I don't think his ego needs mentionning again!). Again, after some controlling forwards play, Frostie called for a wide ball, fed James Coleman (a natural winger) who pinned his ears back and plodded half the pitch, sucking in the last of Bromley's tacklers before slipping the ball to Alec who scored in the corner. Bromley suffered a few injuries and so PH gave them our Polish 2nd row and brought on Ben Russ for his first senior PH appearance (for which he didn't look our of place for a minute).

However, la piece de resistance was one of the last moves of the game. Patrick had become impatient and decided to TELL Frostie for the Blindside winger move. This wasn't entirely simple as Patrick was, at the time the openside winger. Anyway, he swapped over (unnoticed by Bromley) and of the top of a lineout, Forstie fed AMB, who fed Patrick from just outside the 22. He went through so fast that he was practically untouched. I have never seen it as well executed. An funnily enough, he'd been practicing it in training…

One final mention is Bunnage elder. Standing at hooker for their lineouts, on at least two occasions, they tapped the ball back and somehow Bunnage nipped in and came up with the ball. I think he paid Bromley for that before the game, but it looked realistic enough!

Don't know the final score, but we scored 8 tries and they got 2. 40odd - 14 i think

A very enjoyable and clean game, well reffed by Jimmy.

Bring on the season.

Bad Times continue for 1st XV Bromley match report

Well it started very well and finished ok apart from that we got a bit of hamering…

The team was shuffled around again - Bailey was after a sympathy vote and having a week off with his shoulder in a bandage - team looked something like this

FB
The past it Bunnage
Glenda
Paul
Ash
Penge
Turdo
Ginger T

Saus
Pikey
Russ B
Nick W
Biffa
MG
Skip

We started really well exerting a lot of pressure and forcing them back into their twenty two.

The scrum looked totally dominant winning their ball almost at will - the line-outs were equally matched - ours was as bad as theirs.

After one clearance kick from Bromley failed to find touch our leader counter attacked showing (wait for it) a decent bit of pace - he linked well with MG who ran straight and hard down the left wing. In a unusual departure for us the two backs communicated well and Russy took a pass back inside to scamper over in the left corner - 5-0

Bromley then decided to rather spoil our day by scoring 52 points - most unchivalrous of them. That they did so without winning much set phase ball, with several forwards too unfit to take much part in the game and several key players missing is a little worrying for us.

Their centres looked very good - their fullback elctric (fortunately he hasn't yet worked out how to wait for his support else the score would have been even bigger) and we again missed too many tackles. Our heads went down rather. Their flankers spoiled our ball well and played the ref with some skill. They hit the ball at pace better than us and we made too many basic mistakes and turned over too much ball by for example trying to force a pass.

If we played the way we played against Tonbridge I would have fancied our chances but frankly we were nowhere near that level.

Sorry guys - I know it looks a lot easier from the sidelines

To finish on a high point, Pikey scored a glorious try in the second half when picking up some scrappy ball attacked down the right.

As he was forced towards the right touchline by several defenders Russ B ran inside him on the scissors move. Pikey in a glorious moment of briliance (or more likely he was just being greedy) gave the dummy and with the defence now fixed to the spot managed to scarper down the line and with footwork and style reminiscent of Craig Revell Horwood ran under the posts

10-52

PH ones lose first league game to Tonbridge Judds

Report courtesy of Richard Russ:

Despite still suffering 3 or 4 injuries/unavailabilities to key players, Park were able to field a strong side against the team that were relegated from London 3 last year.

Juddians are clearly very sure of their promotion this year already and this arrogance worked to Park's favour in the opening minutes as clearly Judd were not really up for it.

The game was fairly open to begin with and this seemed to suit Park more, who's backs looked dangerous, especially on the break. However, Judd had gelled as a unit slightly better and when the possession was tight they looked after the ball well.

(I think) Park scored first off a well won lineout before it was span wide to Cefn who took on his man and set the ball up well. Park were first two it and after some tight phases, Paul Russ bowled over the line. Converted.

Judd hit back (if they didnt score first) with an unconverted try after some sustained pressure.

Unfortunately Park then lost both their wingers to injury and although we scored another try following a blind scrum move with Russy in the corner (converted), this really changed the game for us as we now had two back row in the backs and their best player was their winger!

Park went down into half time 20-14 i think? Juddian definately had the better game in the second half as Park lost their shape, partly due to the injuries and little because we always seem to have a 15 minute period where we lose our edge. Juddian were able to ship it out wide and we just didnt have the pace to cover across and although some scrambling defence worked well, it could only keep them at bay for so long.

Park did get a consolation try late on after the ball was fed out wide after a turnover at a kick off. It went via both our props including an outrageous dummy from Glen which their centre should never be allowed to live down, before Russy went in the corner. Plenty of positives to take from a game that was there for the taking. But also, a great deal to work on before we take on a Horsham team looking to bounce back from opening defeat aswell.

Final Score: 37 - 19

Please see forum post here for an update from Mr Skinner in a normally poncy but fairly praising way.

PH threes win well against Shooter's Hill 3's

Score: 45 – 16

This was the first game of the season and it was excellent to see such a strong turn out of players which enabled PH to field a strong side with load of subs. If this level of commitment is continued and we get these sorts of numbers every week then we will have an excellent season ahead of us.

The team line up was as follows:

P Jinks / KevG Bunnage / K New
E Hickey
J Coleman/ E Macheve
J Przybylek
Alec / Gleeson
P Greenfield / J Cheyne
O Morris
Sausage
P Russel
H Fingers
Swindles
A. M.B.
P. Bunnage
S Norris
TEO

From the kick off PH exerted lots of pressure on Shooters Hill and after a frantic 5 minutes of play Coleman crashed over the line for the first try of the game. After this PH settled down and turned the heat up on Shoots. The pack were excellent and dominated the scrums and line outs giving the backs good ball to run with. Bunnage(jr) playing on the wing, got the second try of the game and had an excellent debut. His pace troubled the Shoots back line throughout the game. The third PH try came from A.M.B. and gave PH a 3 try lead at half time.

Half time resulted in numerous changes and fresh legs should have ensured that PH continued to dominate in the second half. PH started the second half slowly and a 5 minute period of madness where discipline broke down and players arguing with the referees decisions resulted in PH being reduced to 12 men for a 10minute period of the second half. Fortunately excellent defending and hard work only saw us concede one try during this period.

However with the return of some of the offending players PH resumed their dominance of the game. The next score came from a lovely break made by sausage from a lineout within our half which ended with J Cheyne scoring under the posts.

The final score of the game came from a PH scrum 5 meters out from Shoots line. Olly picked from the back of the scrum, committed his man and popped to J Cheyne who went over in the corner.

The final score was 45-16. Great result against a side that never gave up and kept PH working hard until the final whistle. However discipline needs to improve and players have to learn to keep their mouths shut when decisions go against them.

MOM: goes to the entire back line which was outstanding and threatened every time they ran with ball in hand.

PH ones lose in cup game to a strong Hemel Hempstead

Match report by Penge

They were steroid monkeys and we played pants, lineout went well, backs didn't score.

The End

p.s. This shall not be spoken of again

Park House Ones draw With Croydon in Friendly

Match report provided by Monsieur Le Gough:

On a warm day Park House began their season with a friendly against a young, fit Croydon team.

From the initial kick off Park were on the backfoot in the first half and consistently under pressure from a physical and talented croydon side. In attack any possesion we did have neither flowed or presented any real consistent pressure on the Croydon line. The real positive from the half was the defence and committment shown in only trailing 14 - 0 at half time. The field position and possession that Croydon had this should have been more but for last ditch cover tackles and people fronting up to compete for the ball in all contact areas. Bunnage (it pains me to say it) was absolutley everywhere and his tackling helped me out at least twice!!

At half time everyone was pretty pleased in terms of the defence but going forward we needed to show the same desire to get over the gain line and exert more pressure on the Croydon defence. With good field position and the set plays being solid throughout the game began to take a different shape and this was soon reflected on the scoreboard when Chidi got into a space, brilliantly sidestepped the cover defence and scored between the posts. Again from the kick off Park had some solid structured play and scored again soon after through a forwards rumble to put us on level terms [Edit The forwards rumble consisted solely of the FP bulldozer from two metres out!].

Just as the game looked to be firmly in control a lapse in concentration from the kick off meant Croydon pretty much scored straight away after conceding a penalty 5 metres out. This was a consistent fault of Park House last season when in control of games and is something that will need to be addressed if we are to nick the close games that will inevitably happen next year.

However, as well as last year, heads did not drop and with good attacking rugby Parkhouse worked they way 10 metres out from the Croydon line, with good lines and people running onto the ball at pace it wouldn't be long before someone broke the line and it was infact my centre partner Biffa who picked a beautiful gap and scored untouched under the posts. Congratulations to him as it was his first in a Park House shirt and yes you do owe us a yard of ale....friendly or not!!

As a bit of tiredness crept in Croydon came back and for the first time Park House defence looked vulnerable as there forwards started to make easy yards.....this resulted in pressure 5 metres out and one of their props bashed over or should i say crawled over (eventhough i say he was held in the tackle as it was me under him)

The last play saw Park never give up and a concerted effort against the line from the forwards meant i could sneak over for a rather unglamourous touchdown.

The final score was 24 -24 which was a very good effort considering personnel missing, the very warm conditions and the strength of the opposition. The defence i personally thought was very good for 90% of the game but lack of concentration meant we slightly let ourselves down in the second half. My MOM is Bunnage for the tenacity in hunting down the opposition all over the park and nicking a few scrums against the head!

Park House 1st XV become Kent 1 2007/2008 Champions.

Park House 1st XV battled through a tough season to finally become Kent 1 champions after finishing in second place in the previous season. There was some tough competition from the likes of Old Gravesendians and Old Olavians, who Park House beat in the second to last game 7 - 18 to secure the league title. Well done to everyone who played for the first team this season, especially Penge who picked up Player's Player after an outstanding first season. Please see below for a league summary:

Team

Diff

Pts

Adjust

Park House

370

200

170

Old Gravesendians

379

202

177

Old Olavians

426

236

190

Dartfordians

302

402

-100

Gillingham Anch.

305

172

133

-2

Sittingbourne

346

296

Guys', Kings' & St. Thomas' Hospital

340

392

-52

-2

Ashford

338

293

-2

Erith

151

411

-260

Askeans

129

482

-353

Park House AXV finish mid table in strong Premier Merit Table.

After winning the league for 3 consecutive years, the Park House AXV finally met their match in what proved to be a very strong and competitive league in the Premier Merit table. However, Park House managed to keep battling with the "big boys" and were able to string together a number strong performances to see themselves finish mid-table. Well done to all of the second team who turned out throughout the season! Please see below for league summary:

Team

w/o

c/o

Diff

Points

Westcombe Park III

683

161

522

Old Alleyians II

641

242

399

Bromley II

491

304

187

Sidcup III

520

245

275

Beckenham III

505

386

119

Beccehamiam II

323

452

-129

Charlton Park II

309

389

-80

Park House II

253

567

-314

Dartfordians II

262

477

-215

Guys' Hospital II

226

530

-304

Old Colfeians III

280

392

-112

Park House Scorpions finish Second in Late Red Merit Table and gain promotion.

Park House Scorpions or "Swindles Scorpions" as they have become to be known put together a staggering season to finish second in the Late Red Merit Table to gain promotion. One notable performance was against the likes of Beckenham which following a heavy defeat of 67 - 7at the start of the season, Swindles Scorpions won 12 - 10 to secure second spot. Please see below for league summary:

Team

w/o

c/o

Diff

Points

Beckenham V

473

138

335

Park House III

400

196

204

Old Dunstonians V

370

214

156

Beccahamiam IV

212

241

-29

Old Alleyians IV

272

390

-118

Erith III

259

250

Westcombe Park Gents

260

265

-5

Shooters Hill Brigands

257

377

-120

Guys' Hospital III

201

391

-190

Greenwich II

147

389

-242